After experiencing many parents who come into the salon with their teen daughters (I haven’t gotten any sons…yet), I’ve come to realize which method of communication works.
First let me give you a scenario.
The parent(s) come in together with their child.
The child, depending on what her parent(s) told her, appears to “be in trouble as if she’s done something really bad” or “lively as if she doesn’t have Trichotillomania at all.”
Then I talk about the programs I offer.
The response I get is a combination of the following:
a. the parents cannot allow it to sink into their minds because their mind is overwhelmed with the disorder itself.
b. the child has no clue to what she wants and depends on her parents’ advice.
c. the child has researched online and knows she wants the program but her parents are her main source of financial help and they are skeptical of their big commitment.
d. the parents that have been referred by or have studied the programs and are confident that TheSecretMane is for them but their child doesn’t understand it at all.
e. only one parent came in and, now they need to consult the other parent to get his/her approval.
The scenarios will not have any positive consultation experience.
The best combination, I found, is prior to any consultation is education. If BOTH the parents and child have studied enough to understand their needs, then their confidence level rises and they’ll set forth with a crystal clear mind in making their decision. It’s like making a decision with anything else in life; whether it be which college to attend, which dress to buy, where to go on vacation, etc. I feel more confident in accepting payment from parents and children who are mutually confident. One thing I cannot stand are salespeople who pressure us into buying stuff like timeshares (remember that?!). And what happens? In the end, we don’t want it, right? And it was a waste of our money. And I do not want to treat my students and their parents this way either.
And the best way to develop our level of confidence with any choices in life that we make, is to ask questions, do research, ask in forums, ask other clients (hopefully they’re willing!) and view the testimonies and results of other students.
That said, the other most crucial thing is that the child has the willingness to do the program. The program is not just instant gratification but there also are maintenance involve; for example the care of the hair to make it look and feel natural, how to repair or mend, how to style it, how to cover it to make it look inconspicuous. When we start to value something, we naturally tend to appreciate it and care for it. We may experience some road blocks in our journey, but because we desired to be part of the program journey, we will face those road blocks without fear. And this is what makes any journey in life successful.
And success is what we all strive for. My client, Grace a 12 year old, her parents were in a similar situation. The first person to contact me was her dad. Then the dad spoke to his wife. Then they both spoke to their daughter. I kept insisting that I won’t take their money if their daughter is not willing to do the program. They both said that she is and she also is doing some hand crafting art which keeps her hands occupied. So we proceeded. I told mom and dad to go out and return in 2 hours so I could have a private time with Grace.
During the first visit, Grace wouldn’t talk to me at all. I played her favorite music and offered her cookies. I know from experience that it would take time for a child to open up to a total stranger, so I simply did my job remaining as soft as possible. Then after her appointment, I spoke with her parents explaining today’s labor. I would do this every visit. Now with TheSecretMane program, the student comes in once a month. And the second month Grace gradually opened up. (If you’re a professional and need to learn how I get my Trichotillomania clients to open up, click here for my webcam class). Then with more visits, Grace was the one talking so much! She told me about school, about field trips, about her new dog she got, about the concerts she went to; yeah! So I knew I had developed this confident level with her that I was able to ask her if she’s still pulling on these area(s) so I can better adjust the installation procedure. And she finally told me which areas there were that needed to be addressed. Fast forward, she stayed with me for 6 months- short for a typical 12 month program, but nonetheless a very positive experience. Today she sports a short corp cut I gave her and regardless if she may or may not be pulling, she knew within those short 6 months that her hair grew and to see that growth just turns up the level of HOPE for many sufferers. Just last Christmas, they gave me a family Christmas card with a very generous gift, thank you Grace and her family! I haven’t heard from you so I think everything must be great? Please share 🙂
UPDATE ON GRACE! MAY 5 2014:
Trichotillomania Parent Testimony
Below is the video about my chat with the parent. I’m so grateful that this caring mom took the time to call in and ask her concerns in an effort to help other mothers/fathers like her. I understand her needs and I am here for whatever resources she and her daughter needs advice on. Whatever journey she faces with her family, I hope and pray it’s a positive one. I welcome your comments below and lastly, they live in St. Louis, Missouri so please if there are any salons out there who can help, comment below.
In closing, the best money saving program is acceptance. Yes there are bald girls out there who embrace their look.
It’s easier for a person to accept if they were bald in their youth. But for the grown sufferer, it will take time. The best advice I can offer is from my own experience about beauty in my childhood. Going to a different school where all the kids are white and told me I was ugly (cause I was different), I accepted it, also because I was too young to understand. Every time, I’d asked my mother about my “ugliness”, she just kept saying how beautiful I was. I still didn’t understand as I was too young. And dolls and commercials always played blonde Barbies so I thought that “beauty” was being white with blonde hair. This was a long time ago. But this experience makes me wonder; “what if my mother told me I was ugly?” I think I will never forget that for the rest of my life. So I leave you with this; tell your children everyday, you LOVE them WITH HAIR or WITHOUT HAIR.
Here’s an update after Mom buys Pull-Free Kit for her daughter:
I just wanted to say thank you. You are my hero!
My daughter can finally wear her hair down for the first time in almost two years. I think she wore the same headband for the last year and a half. (she feared other headbands would fall off and people would see her trich areas)
I did not know when I would fit the installation in our busy schedule to attach the extension so setting up a free video consultation was difficult. I watched the videos and read the directions several times. One night we decided to just go for it. I was scared cutting the hairpiece and nervous to put it on, but we did it.
My daughter was so happy. You can see her glowing in a few of her pictures with her red checks. I can not thank you enough.
Trichotillomania (/ˌtrɪkəˌtɪləˈmeɪniə/trik-ə-til-ə-may-nee-ə, also known as trichotillosis or hair pulling disorder) is an impulse disorder characterized by the compulsive urge to pull out one’s hair, leading to noticeable hair loss and balding, distress, and social or functional impairment. It appears in the ICD chapter 5 on Mental and behavioural disorders and is often chronic and difficult to treat.
Trichotillomania may be present in infants, but the peak age of onset is 9 to 13. It may be triggered by depression or stress. Owing to social implications the disorder is often unreported and it is difficult to accurately predict its prevalence; the lifetime prevalence is estimated to be between 0.6% and 4.0% of the overall population. Common areas for hair to be pulled out are the scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, legs, arms, hands, nose and the pubic areas.
What are some of the Trichotillomania Treatments used today?
Many health care professionals may use Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of treatment that focuses on examining the relationships between thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
Other health care professionals prescribe anti-depressants like Sertraline (Zoloft and Prescription drug. This medicine is an SSRI that treats depression, anxiety, and other disorders.
Some sufferers try Cognitive behavioral hypnotherapy (CBH) is an integrated psychological therapy employing clinical hypnosis and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
But TheSecretMane, uses beautiful hair. Any women, sufferer or not, whenever she experiences a bad hair day, she is unable to function properly in any setting, such as her job, her school or on a date. She may even have no desire to go to school or on the date. But when her hair looks good, she feels great. Which is why there are organizations, like the American Cancer Society’s Look Good Feel Better program, which provides makeup and skin care so that women suffering from chemotherapy are able to feel better during treatment and as a result the path to recovery becomes easier to bear. With TheSecretMane program, sufferers are given a kit which contains hair and all the products necessary to install and remove the hair, whether on their own or with the help of a professional Trich experienced stylist. Not only does the hair hide the disorder, but it also prevents access to pulling out their natural hair. In addition, the sufferer can enjoy an active lifestyle like swimming and roller coaster rides with this hair. She won’t have to think about it for a month as this is how long the average wearer keeps it in for, till the next maintenance. Over time, with continuous maintenance, the sufferer is able to manage and control her hair pulling and many times have NO DESIRE TO PULL! This is what makes TheSecretMane program successful since 2004! The longest student is over 10 years PULL-FREE WITH NO recurrence of the disorder!
Is there any Hope Trichotillomania Hair Regrowth?
Yes. As long as your hair as the potential to regrow, your hair will regrow.
Can I still Pull after Trichotillomania Hair Regrowth?
Yes, which is why you must remain in TheSecretMane program, till ALL hair pulling desires diminishes and you have complete control over your Trich.
What is TheSecretMane program?
TheSecretMane program comprise of 3 different choices:
I offer 3 types of Courses or Programs:
DIY KIT is a WEBCAM ASSISTED SELF TEACHING course comes with everything you need to stop pulling and start hair regrowth. This Course is perfect for Students who are comfortable doing it themselves or with the help of a relative or their hairstylist. I include a free webcam tutorial that’ll ensure you to have a beautiful new head of hair, stop pulling and get your life back in only 1 hour and for the entire lifespan of your hair barrier which is up to 6 months of unlimited support. This Course fee starts at $399-$1999 depending on size and coverage you need. While photos of your hair are fine to send me, the best option is to measure the area(s) that needs to be addressed correctly to ensure the best coverage needed for your security. http://charleneblacer.com/fight-trichotillomania-stop-pulling-and-grow-back-hair-kits/
DIY KIT PLUS is a 2 DAY PRIVATE WORKSHOP which comes with everything you need to stop pulling, start hair regrowth, private lessons and professional installation that includes hair cutting and hair blending. This Course is perfect for Students who prefer Charlene to work alongside them. They need the hands-on experience. And they want to walk out with hair that was done by a professional. This course ensure you to learn everything you need for the entire lifespan of your hair barrier which is up to 6 months of unlimited support. You will learn not only installation techniques but proper removal and challenging topics such as “what happens if my hair grows back?” and “how can I cut the hair barrier into hair extensions?” plus more challenging questions. This course will give you a beautiful new head of hair, stop pulling techniques that’ll last throughout the lifespan of your hair barrier, typically up to 6 months, and get your life back in only 2 days. This Course fee is $2999 and Charlene will pick out the best suitable hair barrier for you. http://charleneblacer.com/course-2-day-class
PROFESSIONAL SALON INSTALLATION, MAINTENANCE and MONITORING for 12 MONTHS course comes with everything you need to stop pulling and start hair regrowth with the help, guidance, support, experience and artistry of a Trichotillomania friendly hairstylist for 12 months of nothing but beautiful hair days. This Course is perfect for Students who prefer to leave it up to the professional. They like the feeling of seeing their Trichotillomania friendly hairstylist in the salon’s private room and chat about their past month’s progress. Talking as well as meeting other Students is therapeutic for them. This is the Course that is depicted in many of the success hair regrowth photos you see in this website. Please check out testimonials all verified reviews from real sufferers! http://charleneblacer.com/form/verified-customer-reviews/ Also check out natural hair regrowth success from Trich as well as other hair loss ailments http://charleneblacer.com/my-courses/graduates/ The PROFESSIONAL SALON INSTALLATION, MAINTENANCE and MONITORING for 12 MONTHS program is perfect for those who can travel to our current New York City or Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania locations once a month. This course will ensure a beautiful new head of hair, stop pulling professional monitoring that’ll last throughout the entire year. This Course fee starts at $5999 for 12 months http://charleneblacer.com/salon-1-3-6-12-months/ To get started, please book a consultation- http://charleneblacer.com/free-hair-health-regrowth-consultation/
How long is your longest Trichotillomania Hair Regrowth student?
Since 2006, almost 10 years pull-free and counting!